After reading the review I linked to in my last post, Phil pointed me towards an article about the owner of Flamés Steak House's disappearance, which certainly helps to explain things (insofar as things can be explained).
Tom, July 30, 2005, 11:28 AM (link here)
The World, specifically its New York State Department of Taxation and Finance, is telling me I owe it more money, specifically $520.08 more, just for living in New York's City. Having spent the last, oh, three and a half months behaving like a freelance animator, this news could not have come at a worse time.
And what's worse is it's worse than I originally thought. I have determined through this formula:
x(P / m)
... that that money is currently worth $924.59 to me.
What day is it? July the 26th. I will send you your $520.08, World, don't you worry. But be prepared to lose $924.59 in the coming year. (You will incur your losses when I walk instead of take your cabs, when I download your bands' music for free, when I use my expired student ID at your museums, see two of your movies on one of your tickets, when my uncle comes into town and buys me dinner, when I forget to eat, when I take postage stamps from work, when I find money in my couch. When I find out about your open bars and invite everyone I know to them, when I don't buy new clothes, and when I get my newspapers off your subway seats and pick books and chairs and bad abstract paintings up off your curbs. When so on and so forth, etc.) They may be small when taken individually, your losses, my savings, but they will add up. Add up to $924.59, mark my, mark my words.
Regards,
Tom
July the 26th, 2005, 6:19 PM
Ladies and Gentlemen,
Aaron Hughes's PETUNIA*
brought to life
in shoddy,
web-friendly
M O V - V I S I O N
UPDATE: Now a mere 9.8 MB!
UPDATE: Fred's Box
Tom, July 25, 2005, 4:46 PM (link here)
I seem to have intercepted some sort of distress signal, sent from a one Rick Lacy II:phil: Uther Doul: bad motherfucker. scabmettlers. scabmettlers scabmettlers. also, silas fennec has just confided in bellis coldwine the secrets he's realized about Armada's big plans for the Sorghum oil rig, but still hasnt figured out what those plans are. and that the grindylow of The Ghengris are planning an invasion of New Crobuzon! An unseen, deadly invasion! plus they got it on. alot.
???
UPDATE: "China Mieville and the Scar... super dork style."
UPDATE: I'll say.
UPDATE: "Shekel also fucked a remade woman with half-track treds where her legs used to be! how the hell does that turn some one on? oh baby oh baby....uuhhgh...move yer tank tracks over...no..yes...oh yeah there it is."
UPDATE: fifty fantasy & science fiction works that socialists should read by china miéville
UPDATE: "Mieville's next novel comes out in paperback tomorrow! 'Iron Council' it's called and I for one can't wait to read it. It has a bisexual protagonist. Downright revolutionary."
UPDATE: "shit. is it set in the wolrd of Bas Lag? Or is it something completely new? whata re details do you know about it?"
UPDATE: "it's in bas lag, set in New Crobuzon (in Bas lag), focusing on a proletariat revolution and a mythic Perpetual Train."
UPDATE: That's enough, John Mayer.
Tom, July 25, 2005, 2:44 PM (link here)
... and then later in the night Tompkins Square Park became a window into the future and I saw what we look like when we're 50.
And this is what we rebel like. (.mpg file)
Tom, July 21, 2005, 4:39 AM (link here)
Phil found himself in a conundrum tonight. One that, in a way, mirrored his life's conundrum, he said.
Go to a Kelly Link reading? or go see a dancing monkey?
Something somewhat intellectual? or a dancing monkey?
He chose the monkey, I went to the reading, and it doesn't really matter what I thought of Ms. Link's story (The Great Divorce. I thought it was good.), I gotta give this one to Phil. The monkey was in people clothes.
Tom, July 21, 2005, 3:12 AM (link here)
Tom, July 18, 2005, 12:07 AM (link here)
(I think I saw a Mr. Brownstone cover band called Guns N' Roses play last night and I think it was awesome.)
Tom, July 17, 2005, 1:04 PM
Seven songs for a spiteful summer night.
1. Diminish Me NYC, Frankie Sparo
2. Transmission, Joy Division
3. Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God), Kate Bush
4. This Corrosion, Sisters of Mercy
5. Toxic Angel (Live in L'Usine), Joseph Arthur
6. Straw Dogs (Live in L'Usine), Joseph Arthur
7. No Children, The Mountain Goats
Tom, July 14, 2005, 11:21 AM
Last March, I submitted some stories to Cartoon Network as per their request for shorts geared towards kids ages 9-14, what they call tweens. They rejected every one. Even the one Phil and I wrote about a zombie kid seeing Superman on TV, then jumping off his roof.
Oh well.
You can find the stories on the following pages:
Rhododendron Junior High
The Zombie Living
The Crazy People Heidi Passed
Untitled Alaskan Mailman Story
Enjoy.
Tom, July 14, 2005, 9:15 AM (link here)
Back when my mom worked at the shop, a parent brought in her cheerleader daughter to get sized for her team jacket. Upon finding out the jacket that fit her daughter best was a large, the parent asked if we had any bigger mediums.
"You mean, a large?" my mom asked.
"Oh, no," the parent replied. "My daughter's not a large."
"I see."
The parent continued. "You can't, like, order us a bigger medium, from maybe a different brand name or something?"
I don't remember the exact outcome of this story. I think the parent just ended up squeezing her daughter into a medium-sized jacket. But what I do remember is that my mom did not tell this lady she was a moron and kick her the hell out of the store. No, my mom dealt with her like she deals with everyone: in a courteous manner, because this lady was a customer in our shop. My mom really is a trooper, and if I am to stay sane yet another year in this city I have got to be more like her in that respect. I've got to start realizing that some people are customers in my shop, and sometimes customers want bigger mediums.
Tom, July 13, 2005, 6:31 AM (link here)
I'm wondering if the reason I haven't been getting as many job calls as I used to is because the latest version of my resume has my name spelled wrong. I wouldn't hire someone that couldn't spell their name right.
Well, it's fixed now. No more Thonas.
UPDATE: My phone won't stop ringing!
Tom, July 11, 2005, 2:17 PM
Phil,
Remember when you had a blog?
- REMEMBERING EAST TANGIERS
The Sinister Mayfly of a Blog that Was
_________________________
Jimmy Dixon
Fourth Grade
Mrs. Glockenspiel
A Vision of the Apocalypse
_________________________
I met a man, called himself Empty Barrels,
"I'm an honest man,
when my pistols are dry,
and my pistols'a been dry
since the night she spit in my eye,
since the night she spit in my eye."
_________________________
City Councilman Tomas Apping has a monster living in the bunker in his backyard. The last thing I saw before I was interred alive in this ramshackle excuse of a living grave, was a glistening wet tentacle, whipping frantically into the dark recesses of the Cold War era bunker in elected official Tom Apping’s backyard.
-- posted on the commmunity billboard outside the game room of the Monad Assisted Living/Intensive Care Establishment.
_________________________
Rick Machette: [Africa's] like a big, beautiful woman, eager to engage you, undeniably sexual, but complicated, violent. And black. She's a black woman, definitely. And for a man as potent and virile as myself, her darkest corners are irresistible.
SL: I see. Don't you think that's a somewhat overplayed metaphor? That something is like a woman?
RM: Not if it is true.
SL: True or false: You have killed Zulus?
RM: True. Zulu sorcerers actually.
-- from An Interview with Rick Anything, part one
_________________________
Ican’tbelievethatyesterdayisnottodayandthattommorowmyeyewillbeworseagain.
_________________________
To east Tangier's fine elderly citizens,
I do not have a monster living in my bunker. Claims that recently appeared in this space are quite obviously bogus. Though claims were made by an anonymous dissident, I do hope that you will take it upon yourselves as concerned members of your community to locate the errant scribe and see that he understands the absurdity of his claims.
Your help is appreciated and I look forward to your votes in the upcoming season.
Your concerned civil servant,
Tom Apping
_________________________
SL: You killed Zulu sorcerers with nothing but a dull straight blade?
RM: I'm here telling you the story now, aren't I?
_________________________
Good stuff.
Tom
UPDATE (7/17/05): Shit, it's back!
UPDATE (8/5/05): Aannnnnnd... it's down.
July 9, 2005, 4:39 AM (link here)
Phil,
Remember when you wrote this?
- At a young age, Selinius Stork procured himself a rather large spider web-like tattoo along the inside of his right forearm. It never faded as he aged. Towards the end of the 60s, Selinius claimed in a BBC interview that from the center of the web there was a single unblocked trail to unmarked skin. Further, he claimed that only one person was ever able to navigate that ink and flesh maze successfully. Not Selinius himself, but Evelline Stewart Reed, the love of Selinius's life.
And remember when I found a photo of Evelline at a flea market in Butler?
It's my fault we're the only ones who know about her.
Regrettably,
Tom
July 8, 2005, 3:20 AM (link here)
GOOD FORTUNE
Tom, July 7, 2005, 10:27 PM (link here)
A man--a dry, crumbling, slightly shaking, old man--is standing in the corner of a movie set made up to look like a kitchen, and has been standing there since the rest of the crew left for lunch about twenty minutes ago. He is Paul Verhoeven and he has just lost his mind.
Because there isn't any fanfic about Paul Verhoeven out there, and only a little bit about Phil and me...
Please, read on.
Tom, July 6, 2005, 4:31 AM
Tom, July 4, 2005, 11:59 PM
