Dear Mr. Bayne,

I am writing on behalf of my client, one Rick Lacy the Second, who has recently put me in his employage. He would like me to notify you that if you do not post at least one picture of his sexy, desirable and in all ways properly pampered, prepared and presented face on modernarthur.com/blog, hereby known as "the blog," he will be forced to press charges against you for willfull neglect, defamation of character and psychological damages.

My client is a young available male, on the prowl in New York City. It is necessary that he get the same photographic treatment on the blog as the rest of your group of peers.

I understand that you and my client have a friendly relationship. He does not want to dismantle this. He is only seeking what is rightfully his: his fucking beautiful face on the blog, at least as big as yours, although at this point we do feel (as does the law) that it should be bigger.

Sincerely,

Skylar James Brumley, esq.
Attorney at Law